Voter’s Remorse (Or When The Connection Goes Bad)

A decade or so ago, United Methodists in Indiana were encouraged to “Imagine Indiana,” a plan to unite the two annual conferences in the State into one. For years, Indiana shared one bishop between two annual conferences that were defined roughly along an east-west division of the northern and southern halves of the State.

I grew up in the North Indiana Conference as my family followed my father, an Elder in that annual conference, to his various appointments. When I returned to The United Methodist Church after a ten year hiatus I lived in the South Indiana Conference. I answered my call to ministry which had been felt nearly twenty years earlier and my appointments to churches all were within the South Indiana Conference with the exception of the two years with the General Board of Global Ministries as a missionary in West Africa. Even then my sense of connection was strongly with the South Indiana Conference. Then came the call to “Imagine Indiana.”

“Imagine Indiana” was greatly influenced by well-connected and influential laypersons who were well-known in both church and corporate circles and clergy appointed to influential churches that had been complaining about the amount of apportionments their congregations were expected to pay to support the shared bishop and the two annual conference operations. We were assured that the proposal was not based on financial reasons.

The proposal we were urged to imagine, however, did call for a drastic reduction in the number of districts in the new structure. In fact, the entire length and breadth of Indiana would have only the same number of districts as the South Indiana Conference alone had at the time. This would result in halving the amount required to support district superintendents, the mid-level managers in our connectional structure, and district offices and secretaries. The proponents of the imagined Indiana Conference dangled the carrot of video conferencing capacity in the new “district resource centers” which would reduce the need to travel several hours for meetings. We were also enticed with the assurance of the “inverted initiative” in which the local church would be the most important part of our connection rather than the top-down hierarchical corporate model in which the annual conference staff and leadership would offer or impose its one-size fits all programs and policies that had become the norm whether they worked or not. A carrot dangled before the clergy in the South Indiana Conference was the availability of more larger churches for appointments with presumably higher levels of compensation up north.

I arrived at the Annual Conference Session where we would vote on whether to unite the annual conferences with the intention of voting against the union. I do not know if I was naive, hypnotized or caught up in the moment, but I ended up voting for the union. While I doubt that it would have made a difference in what has resulted, I now wish I had stuck to my original intention.

I majored in political science as an undergraduate. Among the topics I studied was bureaucracy. While I plead guilty to over-simplification, bureaucracy arose to carry out necessary tasks of government, but was subject to sinful human nature in the form of bribery, favoritism, patronage and nepotism. So systems were developed which, among other things, were designed to curb the bureaucrats’ ability to abuse their authority and discretion. Since human systems rarely remain in some semblance of moderation and sanity, this led to further circumscription of the bureaucrats’ opportunities to abuse discretion to the point that regulations prevented bureaucrats’ ability to exercise any discretion no matter how sound or compassionate. In addition, bureaucrats, who do provide valued service to the entity which employs and empowers them, make themselves more and more valuable to the entity, gaining more and more authority and power, protecting their positions and influence and isolating and insulating themselves from the rank and file of membership organizations or the public in terms of governmental bureaucracy systems.

While I do not ascribe nefarious or even intentional efforts on the part of the bureaucracy of the Indiana Conference to do so, that is what has happened. The “inverted initiative” has been subverted. “District Superintendents” have now become “Conference Superintendents.” This change in nomenclature is very much reflective of the ongoing trend to centralize authority and importance in the annual conference and its decision-makers, further distancing the annual conference from the districts and especially the local congregations. Directors of the various annual conference program and service units are now members of the “Bishop’s Extended Cabinet.”

Prior to the union, district superintendents were expected to visit each church within the district annually. Often this was done at annual charge conferences, but diligent superintendents were often known to show up unexpectedly and without announcement at Sunday morning worship. District clergy gatherings and other opportunities gave superintendents the opportunity to know pastors and their families better and vice versa. Presently, the districts are so large “Conference Superintendents” simply cannot do this and have embraced the expedient of holding “cluster” or even district charge conferences. The result is paltry attendance and participation by members and leaders of the local churches within the cluster or district beyond the pastors. Laity have a remarkable ability to discern when something is a poor or unwelcome use of their time. When actively serving a local church I often offered to have such gatherings at my church knowing that would assure me of having most of my church’s leaders and influencers attend. The end result is that superintendents do not and indeed cannot know anything about the strengths and weaknesses, hopes and fears of the churches and pastors ostensibly under their supervision beyond the often inaccurate official reports Methodists are so well known for.

District resource centers with video conferencing capability never appeared. In fact, most districts now do not have offices, much less resources.

The Indiana Conference leadership has been greatly influenced by management consultants and gurus who claim to have the latest silver bullet approach to arresting the decline of local churches and the denomination. The result of this has been an increasingly corporate approach to being the church in which local congregations are treated as franchisees and clergy as fungible employees. Decision-making bodies have been downsized in the name of efficiency, leanness and nimbleness. While decisions made by large groups of people are often painful to achieve and sometimes poor in result, the reverse puts decision-making in the hands of smaller groups that are very susceptible and subject to influence by the annual conference bureaucracy.

Shortly after the union I was elected to chair the annual conference board of trustees, the board of directors of the corporate entity recognized by the State of Indiana. As such I was part of the assembly of committee and board chairs that was empowered to make decisions on behalf of the annual conference between Annual Conference Sessions. At one meeting, a newly hired annual conference staff member made a proposal regarding this person’s portfolio. I pointed out that we had just decided at the previous meeting of this body to approach the matter slightly differently. Another member of the annual conference bureaucracy chastised me and exhorted the rest of the body to support the new staff member’s proposal because the staff member had just been hired and we needed to support the new staff member’s first proposal for annual conference attention, showing our loyalty and welcome. Soon thereafter a proposal was made from the top of the annual conference bureaucratic hierarchy that the decision-making body be reduced in number of decision-makers. Among the positions to be removed was the one I held. At the time, I was not the least upset since this meant there would be fewer expenditures of days spent traveling to and from the conference headquarters for meetings.

In retrospect I realize this was just one more step in the implementation of secular corporate management models and means in the life of our church, further separating annual conference leadership from the rank and file. Recently those chickens came home to roost when this smaller, leaner, less representative and less diverse body made a decision to disenfranchise a constituency from voting for representatives at the Annual Conference Sessions.

The union between the two annual conferences in Indiana would have been difficult under the best of circumstances. The two had distinct differences in the culture particularly of the clergy. The South Conference clergy were much more fractious when it came to relationships between liberals and conservatives. This really reflected the political and social divisions between many communities and churches in the south from those in the north. The southern half of Indiana was and remains more conservative and this was and is reflected in the congregations in those communities. As the conference began the process of cross-pollenization by moving clergy back and forth from north to south, east to west it became apparent that those making such decisions had no effective understanding of many churches and the most effective clergy to lead them. Many decisions since have only made things worse. Corporate methods have replaced community. Connectionalism has been redefined as deference and obedience to hierarchy. Relationships between churches and among clergy have become frayed even when they exist in geography or theory.

Rather than uniting the church in Indiana, it has contributed to the untying of our connection. Stay tuned for the next manifestation of this. Perhaps when The United Methodist Church finally makes the needed decision to dissolve, what remains or what is raised from the ashes will be able to rebuild the connection in smaller settings and structures.

Hurry Christmas?

Yesterday was the first day of Advent. During worship, the Candle of Hope was lit on the Advent Wreath.  The Scripture lesson was Jeremiah 23:5-6 which reads:

The time is coming, declares the Lord, when I will raise up a righteous descendant from David’s line, and he will rule as a wise king. He will do what is just and right in the land. During his lifetime, Judah will be saved and Israel will live in safety. And his name will be The Lord Is Our Righteousness.

During her sermon, the pastor pointed out that there were roughly 600 years between Jeremiah’s prophecy for the Lord and the birth of the Messiah. That’s a long time to hold on to hope.

When I was a child it seemed like the longest span of time in the year was between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I certainly resonated with the old Alvin and the Chipmunks song that said, “Hurry Christmas! Don’t be late.” Patience and hope were tough to practice.

Back in my lawyer days I was a partner in a law firm, but for those who do not know the ins and outs of partnership law, not all partners are created equally in all partnerships. I was more of a junior partner. I got a percentage of the partnership’s earnings, but not as much as the equity partners and they did not have to guarantee my salary as they had when I was an associate. And I was still at the bottom of the firm’s totem pole. Things flowed downhill and there was no one below me.

I was assigned a case from an older attorney who was sort of a rainmaker. He brought cases, but others handled them and he got a piece of the action in the end. This case was an appeal from a denial of unemployment compensation.

Frank had worked for more than 20 years for a major corporate grocery store chain, the last several as a produce manager. The laws of capitalism dictate that there are times when seniority and tenure make it advisable to discharge employees when younger ones will cost less. Frank was one of those. He got shnookered by his manager into resigning rather than being fired. It would look better on his resume, they said. He fell for it – like a lot of people in this right-to-work state.

When he applied for unemployment benefits, the employer objected saying he voluntarily quit. This was an absolute bar to benefits under Indiana law. Frank came to the rainmaker who filed an appeal and then dropped the file on my desk.

It was a hopeless case. Cut and dried. Just go through the motions. I did my best to be honest and yet hopeful with Frank. But talk about a waste of time…

Then a minor miracle happened. When the appeal hearing occurred, no one for the employer appeared. Frank won by default and received his unemployment benefits. Frank thought he had the best lawyer ever. I knew it was just a fluke.

Fast forward several years, I’m now the associate pastor of the church Frank’s wife Rosie attends very regularly without Frank. She tells Frank about the new associate pastor. He remembers me and starts to attend worship somewhat regularly, at least on the one Sunday a month I preached.

Months later, he tells me he wants to profess faith in Christ and be baptized – by me. The Senior Pastor was a delightfully non-territorial person so she readily agreed.

After worship that Sunday, Rosie came up to me for a hug, tears streaming down her face making her mascara run like a sweaty football player’s eyeblack.

“I’ve been praying for this day for 35 years,” she said.

What persistence!

What patience!

What hope!

How persistent in patience are we as we wait through Advent, waiting for the full realization of the hope we have for the Messiah?

24 days?

35 years?

6 Centuries?


Keep the First Rule the First Thing

I and my colleagues and fellow Hoosier United Methodists are about to gather in Indianapolis for our Annual Conference. In recent years Annual Conference has been so tightly scripted and streamlined it could have been handled through e-mail. This time will, I suspect, be very different. We are dealing with the results of the Special General Conference in St. Louis in February of this year and electing delegates for the “regularly scheduled” General Conference in May of next year.

The vaunted “connectional system” in our denomination has pretty clearly frayed, if not broken entirely. I’m not even sure Wespath, our pension system, and the Trust Clause,which legally places ownership of property in the ultimate hands of the denomination rather than the local congregation, keeps the “united” in The United Methodist Church any longer.

Recently there has been a fair amount of discussion about how those who disagree with the draconian policies enacted by the conservative segments of the UMC should resist the spiritual and ecclesiastical tyranny by disobeying the prohibitions and mandates of The Book of Discipline they believe unfaithful and abhorrent. While this may be necessary for those who believe so strongly that they find the prospect of nonlethal martyrdom attractive, I would encourage a better approach.

First, resistance will be painful and expensive. It would be possible to bring the UMC to a grinding halt by tying up the system and its resources with a flood of church trials for officiating at same-sex weddings, but that will only increase the pain and division within our denomination further eroding our witness for Christ. We have a hard enough time barely doing church. I can speak from experience that we do a church court even worse.

Instead, I encourage us – and especially those who will be delegates to the next General Conference – to remember John Wesley’s first rule for members of his Methodist societies: First Do No Harm.

We need to stop doing harm to those who disagree with us on the issues surrounding ministry and human sexuality. We need to admit that those with whom we disagree are sisters and brothers in Christ who firmly believe they are being faithful to Christ and led by the Holy Spirit. It is time to stop beating up on each other and re-organize the church to beat the Devil.

It is time to elect delegates who will admit that The United Methodist Church is broken and the time has come to dissolve the denomination. No successor denomination or covenant structure should be allowed to retain the name or symbol of The United Methodist Church. It will be hard, painful work, requiring repentance and humility and grace on all sides, but it can be done. As my colleague Darren Cushman-Wood recently pointed out much can be civilly achieved through mediation and arbitration.

The reality is there are no winners in this fight and there can never be. We are in a lose-lose situation. Let us admit it and stop harming each other.

Bind Us Together, Lord?

I love worship music that involves electric guitars and drums. I have the battle scars from the worship wars to prove it. I started live praise team music in 5 of the last 6 appointments and the only reason I wasn’t 6 for 6 was because one of them had already fought and won that war. It actually goes back to the late 1960’s for me, but back then it was more folk than rock on the Harmony Stella 3/4 guitar my parents gave me for my 14th birthday (I actually wanted a Gretsch hollow body like Mike Nesmith of The Monkees played).

But I also like hymns and liturgy. Recently The Beloved and I were worshiping at our snowbird church. I pulled a United Methodist Hymnal from the rack on the back of the pew in front of me. I have nothing against projecting the lyrics for the hoi polloi but I treasure the opportunity to see if I can add some tenor harmonies and that requires me to read the music.

I noticed that the hymnal I was holding had a broken binding on its spine. I was glad to know that the last church to which I was appointed was not the only one to have hymnals in such disrepair. Then I thought such hymnals were a fit metaphor for The United Methodist Church. The “new” hymnals were published in 1989 and were far and away better than the 1964 Methodist Hymnal since the poobahs who decided what made it into the hymnal actually listened to pastors and singers in the pews as opposed to relying on the judgment of “experts” in church academia. The hymnals were in dire need of refreshing and replacement, but the reality is we may never see another United Methodist Hymnal because a committed minority of theological ideologues have attempted to impose their narrow will upon the church.

Some friends and colleagues who supported the Traditional Plan have posted their “pain” over the nasty things being said about them. They say they love LGBTQ+ people and think the “attacks” on them are unfair. I have this to say: First, you knew your actions and support of this Taliban-esque plan would have this effect on everybody who was not a card-carrying, button-wearing member of your group. Please do not act surprised or try to play the victim. Second, for you to profess your love for LGBTQ+ people at this point is the equivalent of saying, “I have nothing against black people. Some of my best friends are black.” Spare us. You have declared where you stand. Own it and the pain you have brought upon your brothers and sisters in Christ and the possibly irreparable damage you have done to the body of Christ.

Those of us who have the audacity of faith to believe The United Methodist Church can allow diverse opinions and practices anchored in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus have not bowed the knee to Baal or, as one colleague put it, offered a pinch of incense on the altar to Caesar. We actually believe the full message of Holy Scripture. We believe The United Methodist Church can and should include conservatives and liberals, progressives and traditionalists, Africans, Asians, Europeans and North Americans.

During the same Sunday morning worship service as my encounter with the deteriorating hymnal, the Epistle Lesson was Romans 10:8-13.

But what does it say? The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart (that is, the message of faith that we preach). Because if you confess with your mouth “Jesus is Lord” and in your heart you have faith that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 Trusting with the heart leads to righteousness, and confessing with the mouth leads to salvation. 11 The scripture says, All who have faith in him won’t be put to shame12 There is no distinction between Jew and Greek, because the same Lord is Lord of all, who gives richly to all who call on him. 13 All who call on the Lord’s name will be saved.

All. Not just some. Not just those who salute and get in line with the Wesleyan Covenant Association.

All who call on the Lord’s name will be saved.

Up Close and Personal

During General Conference 2000, I had a cup of coffee and conversation at a table in the Cleveland convention center with a man who identified himself as a member of Broadway United Methodist Church in the Northern Illinois Conference once led by the Rev. Greg Dell. Rev. Dell, who died in 2016, had conducted a “sacred union” service for a gay couple in 1998. This ran afoul of the prohibition in The Book of Discipline of United Methodist clergy officiating or celebrating such religious services. A disciplinary complaint was filed against Rev. Dell and he was suspended indefinitely from ministry at a church trial. He was offered the opportunity to have the suspension lifted if he promised not to do it again, but he declined. The suspension was eventually limited to one year.

My coffee and conversation companion was an articulate and intelligent person. If I recall correctly he was a physician. He was also a “self-identified, practicing homosexual” in a committed same-sex, monogamous relationship. He lobbied me to vote to relax our denominational limitations and proscriptions regarding people like him. I listened attentively and graciously. I could sense evidence of God’s grace in his life.

I told him I believed our denominational standards were in keeping with the Bible and I intended to vote accordingly. We parted in peace, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

A few years later I was at my desk in the office of a church on what locals called “The Sunny Side of Louisville” when a call came through. The caller was pleasant, identified herself as an “evangelical lesbian” and asked if she and her partner would be welcome in that church. Her self-identification was one I had never heard before. I explained that as the pastor I welcomed everyone to Jesus through the church, but since I was relatively new to that church I did not know how the members of the congregation would receive them. I do not know if the couple came to worship in that church.

I thought I was being honest and subsequent events proved the congregation was highly conflicted and dysfunctional. But nagging retrospection tells me my response was a cop-out not unlike those congregations that tell a district superintendent they are open to receiving a female pastor or a pastor of a different race or ethnicity but they don’t believe their community would be as understanding and welcoming.

At my next appointment, two women and their children began regularly attending worship services and Sunday School. Then they asked if they could become professing members of the church. They were a family and wanted to be part of our church family. I sensed deep faith and active grace in them. We had deep and grace-filled conversation. I told them I welcomed them, but wanted to avoid causing them and their children and the church harm so I wanted some time to have some meetings before the meeting with others before they took the membership vows.

After several straightforward and grace-filled conversations with church leaders and influencers, the day came when I gladly received them into membership of that vital congregation. Of course, having been around the block a few times, I intentionally asked my district superintendent to stand beside me in the chancel that Sunday morning and he did. The fallout in that typical Midwestern center-right congregation was very minimal. From everything I know, the family was well assimilated in the congregation.

These are just three of my personal pastoral experiences over the years of local church ministry. There were more with young and older adults seeking healing in their relationship with Christ and his church and their sexuality or that of their adolescent or adult children. Of course, I cannot deny the impact of my experience with my own child. Rather than repeat those elements, however, I encourage you to read a couple of my previous blogs. Since I am new to the blogosphere they will not be hard to find.

I doubt that my experiences over the years are that uncommon, but in the event you are inclined to celebrate “winning” at General Conference 2019, I ask you to sit down and listen to a clergy colleague explain how your vote to punish her or him for engaging in pastoral ministry under a faithful understanding of the leading of the Holy Spirit will impair their ministry. Take the risk and time to listen to someone share how your vote denies God’s call on their life to licensed or ordained ministry. Hear the cries and see the tears of persons baptized and confirmed in The United Methodist Church as they tell you of their realization that statements to the contrary they feel rejected by what had once been their church.

From A Distance

Last night I watched “After Braveheart”, a movie about the Scots’ invasion of Ireland in the 14th Century in an effort to drive the English out. It did not turn out well for Edward Bruce, the brother of Robert Bruce, the King of Scotland.

This morning I listened to portions of a recorded novel. One of the plot elements was drones firing missiles controlled by someone far away from the target.

I was struck by the contrast between the 14th and 21st Century means of defeating one’s enemy. In the former, it was literally up close and personal. The combatants looked each other in the eye. The winner stood a great chance of being wounded also and certainly would often be stained by the loser’s blood and body fluids. In the latter, the winner sits at a screen manipulating controls and pushing buttons. No muss, no fuss. Target destroyed.

I have had my reservations about the One Church Plan from the beginning. It would have seriously changed the connectional understanding of The United Methodist Church even as the half-century since 1968 had exposed a fair amount of it to be mythological and a long way from actuality. But I could not and still cannot fully understand why those committed to the Traditional Plan considered it the Rubicon that must not be crossed. Congregations, pastors and annual conferences that were opposed to any changes in our denominational dictates on LGBTQ issues would not be required to permit or perform same-sex wedding services or license, ordain and appoint LGBTQ clergy. They would be able to vote to continue policies and practices in effect since 1972. Those portions of the global church where culture disapproved of and their nations criminalized LGBTQ relationships and behavior would be able to vote to maintain policy and practice that fell in line with their culture and maintain compliance with the laws of the land. This, however, was not sufficient for the slim majority.


I accept that many of the majority deeply believe they were fighting for the truth, upholding the tradition of the church and obeying the proscriptions of Scripture. The means of doing so, however, are the equivalent of standing far away from the opponent rather than engaging face to face.

The Wesleyan Covenant Association and its allies can claim victory over their opponents without having to stand up and be counted in a local Church Conference or an Annual Conference Session. They will not face the risk of seeing and hearing fellow believers give voice to their deep wounds or finding themselves stained by the tears of others. They will not have to risk votes at a local church or annual conference level that might reveal they are not in the majority they believe they represent.

Instead, they can say, “We won. You lost. So the choice is yours – either fall in line and salute or face the wrath of the harsh discipline we chose to impose.” No fuss. No muss.

At the very least, I ask all who voted in favor of the Traditional Plan to have the courage to get up close and personal with those who believe and feel they have been told they are no longer integral parts of the church. Listen to their cries of pain. Do not look away from their tears.

They are not objects or subjects on a computer screen. They are your brothers and sisters in Christ.


If my math is correct, only 54.5% of the delegates voted to maybe decide the acceleration of the decline of The United Methodist Church. I say “maybe” because I am not yet clear on what provisions of the Traditional Plan previously determined to be unconstitutional, but adopted by the majority of delegates will mean to the constitutionality or lack thereof of the whole shebang.

An insider on the winning team has offered this analysis of their victory:

What strikes me is the tenor and tone of what the evangelical right is claiming as their success. It is all negative and punitive toward those who do not share their rigid standards.

The One Church Plan had its flaws and would certainly have drastically changed the official, much less common, understanding of our connectional system. But it kept the doors open to those whose hearts and minds understood and practiced ministry and mission differently. The evangelical right slammed the door shut and strung razor wire in front of it.

To put the evangelical right’s coup d’eglise in some perspective, 30% of delegates were from African and 7% from Philippine central conferences, very theo-politically conservative portions of our global church. I doubt that all of them voted in lockstep with the North American evangelical right, but I am confident most of them did. If their votes are removed, North American support for collapsing any notion of the UMC as a big tent church shrinks considerably.

The United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights protect minorities from the tyranny of the majority ultimately, although from time to time majorities bridle at their restraints and do their best to hurt, if not eliminate, minority groups.

The 54.5% in St. Louis may not have all intended to do that by their actions, but that is at best an unintended consequence. Some of them knew full well what they were doing and clearly intend to cleanse the church from apostates and infidels.

The good news is that another General Conference is just a year away and it will not take many votes to swing the majority the other way. So, if you can vote to elect delegates get thee to Annual Conference this year.

Remember St. Louis 2019.

I Am Sorry

When we returned from our stint in West Africa with the General Board of Global Ministries, I spent the first six months traveling up, down and across Indiana reporting the accomplishments of and raising additional money for Operation Classroom which was then a unique partnership between the Indiana annual conferences and the Liberia and Sierra Leone Annual Conferences focusing on their high schools. Then I was appointed to a two-point charge. One small church was in a small town that had two four-way stops. The other was a typical white frame church in the rural area – so rural it was a mile off the highway.

From the beginning of my ministry I have believed my primary responsibility as a pastor was to lead people into relationships with Jesus Christ and his church. So I set to work on this in both churches. By the end of the first year both churches had seen increased membership and worship attendance, including 10 new members of the white frame country church – a 25% increase in worship attendance for that little church.

By the end of the second year, all 10 had effectively been run off. Fortunately I was able to convince most of them to transfer their membership to the other church which embraced them quickly and completely. The others were lost to The United Methodist Church, if not the organized body of Christ in general.

In a subsequent conversation with my predecessor at the two churches, he recounted how the Lay Leader of the white frame country church had once told him, “I don’t see why we need new members. It’s kinda’ nice knowing who’s gonna’ be here on Sunday morning.”

That information had not been contained in the profile submitted to the district superintendent and shared with me during the appointment process or by my predecessor during the turnover time. It might have been helpful, but it certainly was enlightening even later.

The culture within that congregation was “we know each other, we like who we are, do not ask us to think about the future beyond our own funeral.” Regrettably, too many United Methodist congregations have developed that sort of culture.

Which, in my opinion, led to the result of the just-concluded Called General Conference in St. Louis.

It is interesting that self-described evangelicals in North American United Methodism have found shared interests with United Methodists in Africa and, perhaps the Philippines, to form a voting bloc that controls the denomination, at least for now. The latter parts of the denomination are vibrant, growing, excited and demographically young. The evangelical renewal movement in the UMC is controlled by old white men and the occasional woman. They are not really concerned about the future of the church. They just want things to stay the same if they cannot roll back the clock. They know each other, they like who they are and they absolutely do not want to think about the future.

What they won’t admit is that their own children and grandchildren have left The United Methodist Church and they are not coming back. They will surround themselves with people just like them and not worry about encouraging new and different folks to enter into a relationship with Jesus and live it out with and through their church.

Which brings us back to the Special General Conference. At this point I cannot say what has been accomplished or not. The majority barely adopted a draconian plan for the denomination that contained several provisions that had been ruled unconstitutional prior to the vote and there is a further constitutional challenge that will be heard in April. It may well be that I was prophetic when I voiced my prediction that we would spend millions of dollars and countless amounts of time, energy and emotion and end up with no substantive change.

While the delegates may not have made real changes to the Book of Discipline, they did change one thing. The evangelical right-wing has set an expiration date for The United Methodist Church. The evangelical right has told people in North America under 40 years of age that they are neither welcome nor needed, whether clergy or lay. They will, of course, deny this and point to and parade their young evangelicals as poster children for the righteousness and hope for their cause and it is always inaccurate to stereotype generations, but the actions as well as the words of the evangelicals and their international allies will put a permanent stain on the UMC as anti-LGBT with hard hearts, closed minds and guarded doors that will not wash or wear off. In another generation or two, many of the churches North American evangelicals think they are protecting and preserving will be closed because the old guard has died off and no younger families joined.

The North American evangelicals will deny this, but they have already lost the perception battle. Their words that they “see” the progressives ring hollow. Their words and the words of their African allies that they “love their LGBT brothers and sisters” and “hate the sin, but love the sinner” are trite and tried untruths. They will continue to strain their bowels over the LGBT speck in others’ eyes, but ignore the huge log of divorce, remarriage and adultery in their own. The movement will continue because it is funded by some very wealthy people and ideologically simpatico foundations, but a lot of “its” congregations will be forced to discontinue.

I titled this piece intentionally because I have come to deeply regret what I did in the past to bring us to the present. I am sorry I was ever part of the evangelical right wing in Indiana, national and global Methodism. I firmly believed I was right at the time (see my previous blogs), but now I realize I played a small role in creating a church that drives people away instead of welcoming them in.

I don’t know what my metanoia will bring, but I have some ideas. Though I had planned to never attend another annual conference session, I will be there this June when delegates will be elected for the 2020 General Conference and I am willing to do everything I can to see that younger, more open and inclusive clergy and lay delegates are elected in Indiana. I helped evangelicals organize politically in the 1990’s and early years of this century and am willing to use those skills and instincts on the other side. Maybe I’ll officiate same-sex weddings to spare colleagues who are still in active ministry from having to face the Inquisition. Since I’m no longer getting paid and am on Medicare, I can afford a suspension of pay and benefits. Or maybe I’ll polish up my courtroom skills from back in the day and be the worst nightmare for church trial prosecutors as a defense counsel for colleagues who choose to disobey an unjust and unChristian system.

General Conference 2019 had the opportunity to look the present reality and the future possibilities squarely in the eye and either allow churches, pastors and annual conferences to do ministry as they believe the Holy Spirit is leading them with regard to LGBT people or admit we cannot do this, will never agree and civilly end The United Methodist Church and form two or more new denominations. They failed to do so. While progressives and moderates bear some of the responsibility for this, I place most of the onus on the North American evangelical right and their African allies.

So, if you’re like me to any degree, lick your wounds, gird your loins. The struggle continues.

One Church, Two Church, Red Church, Blue Church

The United Methodist Church General Conference will meet in St. Louis later this month. In the normal course of events, General Conference meets every four years. It is the only entity that can make changes to The Book of Discipline and is the only body that speaks authoritatively for The United Methodist Church. Since its last regularly scheduled gathering was in 2016 in Portland, Oregon, it would be scheduled to meet in 2020. But the delegates, limited by the Book of Discipline to no more than 1,000 and scrupulously half clergy and half laity, authorized the Council of Bishops to anoint a Commission on the Way Forward to develop a way for The United Methodist Church to resolve the divisions among us regarding LGBTQ persons, ordination and appointment of LGBTQ clergy, marriage and same-sex wedding services in our church properties or performed by our clergy.

This has been an issue in The United Methodist Church since 1972. Every four years General Conference was petitioned to loosen or strengthen our positions. The United Methodist Church over the years has declared the “practice” of homosexuality incompatible with Christian teaching, defined marriage as between one man and one woman, declared that “self-avowed, practicing” homosexuals are not be to approved as candidates for ordination or appointed as clergy in our churches, decreed that same-sex weddings are not to be held in our churches or officiated by our clergy. If the latter cross that line in the sand, they are subject to internal church disciplinary processes which could result in a church trial and the removal of credentials and status as a minister within the denomination. Organizations and sub-units of the denomination which advocated or acted contrary to the official positions were to be denied denominational funding. The church also proclaimed that homosexual persons are persons of sacred worth, that God’s grace is available to all. It exhorted parents not to turn their backs on their LGBTQ children and called for the end of discrimination against LGBTQ persons and the protection of their legal rights.

The 1996 General Conference delegates declined to change our denominational positions by the narrowest margin thus far. If I recall, the margin was somewhere in the mid-50’s in terms of percentage that voted to retain prohibitions and proscriptions. After this, an academic from a major Midwestern university and a member of a United Methodist congregation in that community co-authored a book predicting that the trend was in favor of those who advocated a more inclusive church and its clergy for LGBTQ persons and it was only a matter of time and the time was drawing nearer.

In what should be a cautionary tale for those who are presently trumpeting the results of the 2018 congressional elections as proof the nation has made a course correction to the left that will continue, The United Methodist Church experienced the law of physics that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. The traditional/conservative/evangelical folks “got woke.” The result was one of the more conservative General Conferences in 2000. Two-thirds of the delegates voted to retain the denominational positions. A law school classmate of mine was elected to the Judicial Council, our denominational equivalent of a Supreme Court, notwithstanding or perhaps because of his clear alliance with the evangelical renewal caucuses.

And we changed the formula for allocating delegates.

The previous formula protected the interests of the church in declining regions of North America in terms of church membership such as the West and East Coasts as well as the Rust Belt while limiting the voices and votes of Africa where the church was literally exploding with growth. It truly was a justice issue. After all, why would we protect decline and stagnation while penalizing evangelism and growth? The only justification would have been to assert that those portions of the global church which provided the bulk of financial support for the denomination should be proportionally better represented. Those on the denominational left might have thought so, but they dared not say so. Those on the denominational right in North America were fully cognizant of the fact that this would be in their political interest as the delegates from African annual conferences were very much in the traditionalist/conservative/evangelical camp when it came to LGBTQ issues.

In 2016, 30% of delegates came from annual conferences in Africa. In 2020, that percentage will rise to 32%. While these delegations do not march in lockstep with those regions of the church in North America that are similarly disposed on LGBTQ matters, they do form a reasonably reliable and like-minded base for the 33% of delegates from the Southeast and South Central Jurisdictions, not to mention the conservative/evangelical delegates from the North Central Jurisdiction in the American Midwest. Conversely, the more liberal Western Jurisdiction will have only 3% of the votes.

The math does not look promising for those who seek a more liberal denomination when it comes to these matters. What troubles me the most is what I perceived in 2012 – that everything General Conference needed to do and was asked to do was being viewed through the lenses of delegates’ positions on LGBTQ matters. Delegates were reluctant to consider legislation that was needed or at least laudable on non-LGBTQ matters because it might give the “other side” an advantage or a glimmer of hope on sexuality issues.

So General Conference accomplishes little, if anything, beyond spending a lot of time and millions of denominational dollars.

Now we find ourselves spending more millions on a General Conference outside the normal rhythm with the same delegates who were unable to solve matters in 2016.

There are essentially 3 proposals coming to the body later this month. I will not go into the details of each lest the reader’s eyes glaze over, but will share my summary of the gist of each. I do encourage readers and delegates to read the full details of the plans which are easy to find online.

The Traditional Plan calls for the retention of the current denominational positions with the addition of greatly enhanced enforcement penalties for bishops and other clergy who would violate the prohibitions against ordination and appointment of LGBTQ clergy and officiating at same-sex weddings. It includes provisions for a “gracious exit” of clergy and congregations who cannot or choose not to adhere to these restrictions. “Gracious exit” would allow congregations to retain their properties against the Trust Clause which historically and legally means that when a congregation leaves the denomination, the property belongs to the denomination.

The One Church Plan would create a new big tent for the denomination which would allow each annual conference to determine whether to ordain and appoint LGBTQ clergy and each pastor and congregation to determine whether to host and solemnize same-sex weddings. This will in reality add additional elements of regionalism and congregationalism to the hallowed theory of connectionalism in the denomination and will be the end of the fiction that any ordained United Methodist clergy can be appointed to provide clergy leadership to any United Methodist congregation.

The Connectional Conference Plan would create 3 non-geographical entities for the church, essentially lining up pastors and congregations on theo-political bases on the left, center and right. My concern is that we have created such a complicated mess in our denominational constitution and Book of Discipline that it would takes years to get this all straightened out, if ever.

Personally, I prefer the Simple Plan which would simply remove the negative language and prohibitions against LGBTQ persons, clergy and weddings, in effect leaving these matters in the hands and spirits of annual conferences, congregations and clergy. Unfortunately this plan is put forth by the United Methodist Queer Caucus which is a poison pill for too many delegates from too many regions of the church.

My prediction is that nothing will be accomplished later this month given the truncated schedule. If two weeks of a “normal” General Conference accomplishes little if anything, I have very little hope for a mere 3 day conference.

If a plan is adopted, The United Methodist Church will cease to exist. The Wesleyan Covenant Association and the other “evangelical renewal” groups have drawn a deep line in the sand, saying they cannot and will not live with the One Church Plan. My experience has been that they have been planning and working for schism for years. Some of their churches have properties held by separate legal entities designed to circumvent the Trust Clause. They have properties so highly leveraged with debt as to be poison pills for annual conferences that might be tempted to enforce the trust clause.

Similarly, if the Traditionalist Plan is adopted any victory will be Pyrrhic. Many clergy, particularly those in the Millennial generation, will leave the denomination. So will many churches. Those that stay will continue to disobey any enhanced disciplinary provisions, insisting on church trials by their peers further wasting church resources much more faithfully used in ministry.

One significant part of my process of moving from where I was 20+ years ago to where I am now has been getting to know colleagues and other people who did not think and believe as I did and listening to them. I have come to realize that persons on both sides of the LGBTQ issues firmly believe they are led by the Holy Spirit.

It is time we stop beating on each other and get back to beating on the Devil. It is time we freed each other to do ministry as we each believe the Holy Spirit is leading us to do and let God bless whom God chooses to bless. It may just be that God chooses to bless us all – everyone.

Given the sharply and deeply drawn line in the sand, I call on the Wesleyan Covenant Association and its opposite organizational elements to publicly confess that The United Methodist Church can no longer pretend to be united. Then with deep repentance move to disband the denomination and distribute the property and other resources. No successor denomination should be allowed to retain the words “United Methodist” in its title.

I know from my experience as both an attorney and a pastor that divorces are often messy and painful, but I also have experienced that sometimes they are where grace is ultimately found. Neither side, particularly the traditionalist/conservative/evangelical side shows any interest in reconciliation – only in winning.

The only win-win situation I see is for us to meet at the Jabbok – and then go separate ways.

Be careful what you pray for

It was my pastoral practice over many years to include the Wesleyan Covenant Renewal in worship on the first Sunday of each new year. I came to call it the “Most Dangerous Prayer.” It says:

“I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.”

The reason for the cautionary introduction is that, rather than imploring God to do what the person praying wants God to do for them or someone else, the person praying is imploring God to do whatever God’s will is for them and solemnly vowing to accept whatever that is as a matter of holy covenant. There were times when I had to remind myself of the fact that I had freely and knowingly prayed that prayer, especially when decisions of those appointed over me in our church hierarchy resulted in pain, dislocation and disagreement for me and my family, but that is another matter perhaps for another day.

Be careful what you pray for. God may just take you up on it.

I am a rules-follower. Perhaps it is due to my years in Scouting. This old Eagle Scout still does his best to live up to the Scout Oath and Law. Maybe it is also due to my years in law school and the practice of law. The law may be an ass at times, but it is still the law and should be obeyed unless and until it is changed. The United Methodist Church has its Book of Discipline which too often makes the Internal Revenue Code and the Code of Federal Regulations look simpler and easier to decipher, but if the Discipline said I as a pastor “shall” do something, I did it even if I thought it was not the thing to do and if it said I “shall not” do something, I did not do it even if I thought it was the thing to do.

I began to strongly identify with and advocate for what are identified as the “evangelical renewal” movements within The United Methodist Church early in my ministry because I saw them taking principled stands for sound orthodoxy in fidelity to the Scriptures, our Articles of Religion and obedience to the structures and strictures of our Book of Discipline. I believe each human being is not only a body, but also an immortal soul and I have always been driven by a passion to do all that I could to help souls experience lives now and forever in relationship with God through Jesus Christ. My liberal colleagues, in my opinion, were too focused on institutional preservation and societal transformation than in doing all they could do to first save eternal souls from an eternity in the absence of God and then working on society and the institution of the church.

Then came the issues of homosexuality and same-sex marriage. I was offended when some clergy solemnized same-sex weddings or commitment services. Not only were they not legally recognized at the time, they were expressly prohibited by our church law and, therefore, a serious violation of our covenant as clergy in a system that billed itself as connectional. They intentionally broke the rules. I applauded the results of church disciplinary proceedings that removed the credentials of some and decried others that gave what appeared to be a mere slap on the wrist to violators.

I played a reasonably significant role in organizing clergy and laity within our annual conference that believed as I did, resulting in a much more orthodox and evangelical delegation of voters to General Conference in order to stem the tide seeking to soften our denominational positions on marriage and ordination. Soon I found myself as a board member of one evangelical renewal organization and active in efforts to coordinate with other similarly minded groups within the denomination.

Then my oldest child came out.

I was floored. Like many parents I wondered what I had done or failed to do as a father to cause it. I realized this was a test of my faith. Would I be able to love her unconditionally while still loving the Lord without limitation as I understood both relationships? Could I advocate and work for what I firmly thought was biblical and theologically right without hurting my own child?

I believed and still believe in the power of prayer. So I prayed, “Lord, please change her or change me.” Every day. Day after day. Week after week, month after month, year after year. And God answered my prayers. It took a long time and the answer was not what I really wanted God to do when I started.

But my prayers were answered.

Like many parents, my daughter’s birth was an epiphany causing a young lawyer who thought himself to be a budding master of the universe to realize he was not. This led me back to the church after 10 years of self-imposed exile (which is another story for another day). Eventually this led to answering the call to ministry I had actively suppressed since age 14.

I and her mother taught her the faith, but we did not indoctrinate her. My daughter’s faith was deep and real. Now she was a young adult feeling abandoned and unwelcome by the church in which she had been baptized and confirmed.

It is difficult to fully or even partially describe what it was like to be torn between two loves – my love for the church and my love for my daughter. It took years to work itself out. Over time I became disillusioned with the evangelical renewal groups in The United Methodist Church. In my experience they more and more abandoned their emphasis on the faith inherited from the saints in favor of the cultural fight against “the gay agenda” and providing prayer support and religious veneer for a particular political party. It came to a head for me during what I call “The Train Wreck in Tampa,” the 2012 General Conference, when I realized its disciplined delegate voting bloc would not even endorse a modification of a particular portion of The Book of Discipline that would have admitted our denomination was not of one mind on the issues surrounding human sexuality.

I will have more to say as the days draw closer to the Called General Conference in St. Louis. For now, let me say I love my daughter even more deeply and fiercely. Her faith continues to inspire me. Her intelligence sometimes intimidates me. Her independence frequently frustrates me. She is happily married and, of all things, is a preacher’s wife to a wonderful woman.

Just not a United Methodist.